No, I haven't joined a new religion called "extentionism"...that's we call people who have "extended" for a third year. Wow, one sentence and two uses of quotation marks...I suggest you start counting how many times I use quotation marks "now"!! I have a real bad habit of over-doing it with them.
So, I haven't blogged in awhile. I will only say, that I blogged a lot when it was all exciting and new. Now, less (or never) because its all old and boring! LOL...never boring, just not new.
I moved from my little barrio (neighborhood) of Capiata to the big city of the capitol, Asucion, back in the end of April, first of May. I live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment, of a 3 floor apartment complex that has 2 apartments for each floor. We live on the third floor. You would think after months of living there you would not get slightly winded by the time you get up the stairs, but amazingly, you still do! Especially when it's hot, or you're carrying groceries!
I work with 2 governmental organizations now: 1) La Secretaria de Ninez y Adolescencia 2) PronaSIDA. I would relate the first organization (literally translated as: The Secretary of Children and Adolescents) as the Department of Social Services. Their is no formal government run Foster care, nor Homes for children run by the government. Their are only non-profit ones...I have visited a few with the people from the Secretary, and there are usually a boys or girls home of about 10-20 kids each. Small places, with one nun, or other good lady in charge who wanted to make a difference, with a staff about 10 or so. So, while they do have "cases" of child abuse, etc. They have a looong way to go. Most of the time children in those kind of situations have some aunt or older cousin who will take them in, as they are much more family connected as a society than we Nortes (North Americans) are.
The second organization, PronaSIDA is the governmental organizational response to the epidemic of HIV and AIDS in Paraguay. Of the population of 6 million, only 7,886 people are currently registered as living with HIV or AIDS currently in Paraguay. So that's like .01% of the population. So why even care? Because last year there were 954 new register cases, almost a thousand. And the ignorance on the subject is endless which can cause a host of problems: passing of other curable and non curable STI's (which can cause problems during pregnancy and even death if untreated), discrimation of those who live with HIV and AIDS for fear of "catching it" from them, the "it won't happen to me phenomemon". Of those almost 8,000 registered cases there's 8,000 more suspected of living with HIV but they don't know that they have it. The HIV virus can live in your body for years without giving you a single reason to suspect that you may have a problem.
The organization I work for his in charge of providing free HIV and AIDS testing - free, confidential, and with PRE and POST Counseling. Also provides free medicines and powered milk for new mothers to who can use that instead of breast-milk. They also have and Education Team that goes (theoretically) around the country providing informative presentations about: What is HIV and AIDS? What is the current situation in PY? How does it transmit itself? How does it not? How to protect yourself from HIV and AIDS and other STI's.
So, I talk about sex a lot. I put condoms on cucumbers (and carrots, and the yucca-like food here called mandioca or mandi'o for short).
There's a lot of misconceptions about HIV and AIDS. Mostly, only drug addicts and "promiscious" people can get, or people who have sex with sex workers. Or, that you can get it from drinking terere with some one (the ->shared<- tea). A woman in the interior part of the country died of AIDS and the community burnt her house to the ground after she passed. There is a lot of fear related to the disease at there is little understood about the disease.
It's not to say my job is easy. I'm up against the entire Catholic Church when I teach the correct info about condoms. We never push condom use on anyone. We teach the 3 methods of prevention: Abistence, mutual fidelity, and condoms. Choose your method. Absitence is 100% effective. Mutual Fidelity is 50% effective, the Condom is 98%. Choose.
Tragically, of that 954 new cases in 2008, over half were married women who's husbands had cheated on them. So, its not just a disease of sex workers. Even good little Catholic married women can get it, too. That's the attitude we're trying to change. But when the Pope goes on record saying that he wishes that Africa would stop receiving condoms because it's only making the AIDS sitution worse there (Really) you have a hard battle. But, there's hope with the younger generation.
My objective with the Secretary are to train staff members to continue the methodology of our presentations (lots of games, very participatative activities, not just talking information at you, but involving you) about HIV and AIDS.
My objective with PronaSIDA is to keep Peace Corps in the loop about the most current information of HIV and AIDS, and to connect PronaSIDA's regional educators (who live the interior of the country) with volunteers. Basically, we know that PronaSIDA has this system of educators supposedly to address the needs in the interior that PronaSIDA, being in the capitol, can't reach. BUT, we don't actually know if they are out there doing their job or not. We think not. So, if we hook them up with a guapo (in Paraguay it means hard-working, not handsome) volunteer, we can assure that they will be supported with the volunteer, maybe a little more of a motivator to keep up the good work, and organize more official workshops and project plans with the volunteers.
That's my job.
My life is good. There are perks to living in the city. I have access to good food all the time now. Veggies, and cereal! My new splurge items of living in the city are All Bran Cereal, natural peanut butter, prunes and walnuts. These are kinda "fancy" things that I did not buy before, because they are expensive and only available at the bigger, fancier grocery stores.
I talked to my boss recently about a raise. I'm paid the same as I was when I lived Capiata even though my rent is now 285,000 Guaranis plus electric instead of 200,000 Guaranis, electric and water included. Even though I'm expected to get to 2 jobs and take probably about 100,000 Guaranis a month more in transportation. My roomates who work in Peace Corps central office make an extra 200,000 Guanranis a month. He said that they need to ask the director, but he is in support of paying all year extentionists living in Asuncion that extra 200,000 Guaranis a month because its not fair. On top of that my roomates make per diem when they are on the road!! Really not fair, so hopefully I'll get that raise. I'm pretty much always short at the end of the month now.
My days are like this: gym, work, home. I leave my house with my roomate at 5:40 am, and we walk down about 20 minutes down to the 6:15 spinning class. Then sometimes we do are own exercises or we do 45 minutes of another hour class - there's Localizada (butt, abs, waist), Body Pump (all over strenghting with free weights) Body Jump with trampoline, Body Vive (never tried it, because it's at 8 and 9 am, but I hear its like pilates! I love pilates, but I'm at work by the time)...oh, and Body Combat on Tue and Thurs nights. It has treadmills, and weight machines. Everything really.
If you had told me 2 1/2 years ago, I'd get up at 5:15 on my own free will, I'd have lost 30 lbs, had been engaged and have 6 tattoes, I'd have told you that you were crazy!! LOL. Well, here I am.
Hope you're well!
Much love!
Lent
So, just thought I would update everyone. To some of your relief´s I´m sure, I just wanted to inform everyone that Jorge and I have come to an end.
Yeah, I know we were really thinking marriage, but as we got further into the relationship it we began to realize that it would be a lot of work for both of us to come to terms with the numerous cultural differences that began to plauge our relationship.
The love was there, but we could not do the other things that show love to each other´s liking.
There were big differences in the way we communicate, negotiate, love, and respect one another and our expectations for one another were just different, and I don´t believe that either one of us were living up to the other´s expectations.
We took a good look at where we are, and where we wanted to go, and what it would take to get there. We had to come to terms with the fact that it looked like we really just weren´t going to see eye-to-eye on various aspects of life and be on the same page, or in other words, in the lingo of martial negotiation, dealbreakers.
We came to a mutual decision, no tears, no yelling, no blaming, nothing. Anti-climatic really, decision that it´s best if we just go our separate ways.
I still am planning on trying to extend in the area of HIV-AIDS work with a branch of the Paraguayan government, is I came here to work in the first place, not get married! And the job really sounds interesting, and I am looking forward to it.
I hope I can count an all your support as we all know the worst time to go through a break is the Holidays. I believe worse than Valentines because thats just one day, this is a whole SEASON. Blah!
Much love to all,
Felices Fiestas
So, here's a photo of me finally... it's been awhile, because my camera broke a while ago. You will note the reached the 35lb. mark weight loss... this is taken in our office, in the computer lab, with the camera of a random trainee (not yet a volunteer).... so that you all could see, I'm alive, and well, and 35lbs lighter.
I have tons of stuff going on as the school year ends here for summer, yes, summer vacation. Doing a career/college fair full of scholarship info, vocational programs info, etc. for all my highschool students. Then, we have a plans for camps, etc in the summer...camps, tournaments of volleyball, etc.
And somewhere in there I am trying to fit in my wedding! But, I have also just really recently been toying with the idea of extending my service. I need to look more into who all is applying to exteand to see if I have a lot of comptetion or not, but I am thinking that no there is not a lot of competition. Having talked to people at home, the job market is just so down right now. And it's just such a scary time to come back..... as a social worker. With an immigrant! My old boss pretty much told me, "If you can stay abroad, do!" So, if I extended, it would give Jorge and I a chance to save our money a bit more... and just have more time together without having to rush the wedding, rush the VISA, rush back to the States, etc. But, this is just an idea I had, um, today. So, we will see.
So, here's the deal. I am a little sleepy, so this might not be the best time to focus on trying to write a reality check of me getting married, but well, I'll give it my best shot.
So, here's the deal. I know I've all told you how wonderful, great, kind, patient, tranquilo, hard-working, and genuine that Jorge is. But, in the end, let me make something very clear: HE'S PARAGUAYAN!
What does that mean to you (family member or friend)? If we come back in 6 months:
1) He's not going to know English. Maybe not at all, maybe not very well. Honestly, I don't really want to be the one to teach him. I don't mind practicing, but I am not an Certified English teacher! I will if it comes down to it, and I feel that he really needs some language training, but in a perfect world he will be able to study in Buenos Aires a few weeks before we head back. He will at least get the basics down that way, and will at least break out of the shyness of when really trying to speak a new language. In order to speak a new language, you have to get over feeling like an idiot. You are going to mess up. You are going to say stuff wrong. You may confuse the word "pear" and make it sound like "beer" (as my little sister who is studying english did this week). I was in the same boat about a year and half ago... working with the basics of a language, and just trying to communicate. Sometimes, you are trying so hard to get a point across... but you just can't... you so want for someone to understand you, and then you say one little word wrong and everyone laughs and you lose your whole momentum! Aye! Very frusturating! So..... please be patient, be kind, and remember, I was in his same situation not long ago, and Paraguayans never turned their nose up at me for not knowing their (2!) languages!
2) He's used to a much slower pace of life. Many people of asked me if he is a good dancer. While I must admit, he is a rarity in that his Latino hips were not programmed to shimy and shake like Ricky Martin's, I contribute to this lack of rythem of him really not going out and dancing often. The boy is from Yegros, Caazapa. Or let me write that in terms you can understand - Nowheresville. He lived in the capital Asuncion, and then in Capiata where we met, but he didn't change dramatically in the big cities, and turn in to someone who goes out to trendy clubs. Quite frankly, even if he had wanted to, he wouldn't been able to because going out is expensive, and a luxury of the rich, one thing he's never been. Most teenagers in the cities do go out, about once every 2 months they may spend the equivalent of $10 US dollars maximum! That's going out somewhere kind of fancy and having a few drinks, but if you are younger and only drink a soda, maybe just $3-$5.
Okay, to sum this all up. I know that the first thing we will want to do with him, is go out to a nice meal. Show him something cool, get a drink. But doing too much in one day, and too much stuff out will probably put him on overload. I know I felt overloaded in the States, but I could handle it. More family meals in, barbeques, and less running around would be nice. You are talking about someone who is able to spend hours a day with his family, staring at a road while drinking terere (communal tea drink) or listening to a radio program at night with his Mom. (Yes! Listening to the radio, just like when good ole' FDR did his little fireside chats back in the day!). They have a TV, but radio is still viable entertainment! Soooooo.....Just tranquilo people... we will play it all by ear, and see how he's doing to figure out our plans.
3) He may dress a little funny....at least on first impression until we can get him to a Marshall's and get him a few new digs. Let me tell you about the jeans here. They are all the cheap thin kind with weird details, like random zippers, fake pockets, zig zag white lines for no reason, lots of ugly details. It's also better to buy them kind of short, as the red mud will stain the bottem of them, so you usually just keep your jeans rolled up a bit so they won't stain. OR, you can just buy them kind of short (think high waters) and avoid that problem all together! So, all his pants are a little short, and a little tight! Beyond that, he's pretty normal, you know, he's pretty conservative in his "style" (he has none basically because he's just basic). Thought he does like to walk around without a shirt, which is completley accepted in Paraguay as it is a lot more casual and did I mention it gets HOT here? But, I will be sure to let him know, you can't normally enter businesses without a shirt AND shoes (also not a necessary clothing item here in PY).
Other than that, I can't really think of any things that will strike you as terribly odd about him.... you will learn to like him a lot once you guys speak the same language!
He will be coming back from Buenos Aires early, just in time to celebrate his first T-day with a group of friends and I. So, I am very excited. We figure for the last part of the money that he needs to make, he can just find jobs around here to do it. I've decided that beyond just missing him, I really need him here. To be here, to be together, to have more time together, to go pre-martial counseling together, to church together, to spend time with my friends and paraguayan families together... and if he had stayed the last month he would have missed Christmas with his family :( !!!
Why might you ask is he in Buenos Aires? Well, he's been working and Western Union-ing me money every month to help pay for VISA costs. It's like $1200 to take somebody home! But, after this, he will be allowed to become a citizen after 2 years. So, we are doing half and half. I am saving up my measley Guaranis (national money) and taking an advance out of my $6,000 while he is working for the other half! So, we'll be fine! But, just in case you were wondering what he was doing there!
Thats all I can manage to write about him in one day without making myself sick of being so in love with him, and missing him a great deal! Ha, ha, ha... I do miss him, but I have a lot of work to keep myself busy, I just find that I talk about him... A LOT! To the point where I have to catch myself and be like, OK, that's enough for today! Ha, ha, ha! Say "hello" to my future husband!
Sorry all for the lull in interesting tidbits from down South, but the reality of the situation is that I kinda of just live here, so all the wonderous insights that you usually gather from traveling have kind of slowed, and pretty much come to a stop somewhere around the year and half mark.
This it pretty much, you realize during your first few months, "Wow! Paraguayan culture is soo different!" Then next 3-6 months you gain more perspective on WHY it's so different, then you spend the next 3-6 months realizing all the nuiances of the culture. Around that time, you pretty much get the things that are different, and you yourself have adapted the best you can to all the differences, and you find a rythem in your work (I personally teach 8 times a week) and in your life (running 3-5 a week, washing clothes every couple of days, cleaning house, cooking, yoga, my Mexican Soap Opera or telenovela ETC) And that's just the way things are.
I recently organized a Leadership workshop for the kids of my neighborhood, had about 25 participants so that was a good number I feel. We did activities relating to thinking about their futures, making important decisions, communication skills, and volunteer service. Next time I plan on doing a workshop about employment, how to make a resume, how to look for a job, etc.
I think I will start an study group of English again, seeing as how the kids are always bugging me to teach them English. (I did that already, started with 60 students and ended with 10 - they all "say" they want to learn English, but when they realize that they still have to study/do homework and practice that just because I know English doesn't mean that I can magically just put it in their brains, they tend to loose interest!) So, I hope to form a smaller more serious group of students.
I hope to pull from this group of students kids who might want to wrok with me at the small/free school where they are just putting in a library, and maybe do teenagers reading to little kids time, and the kids can accredit "community service" hours to put on their resume. Unfortunatley, community service in all it's officialness is kind of a new concept to Paraguay. People do community service, like helping someone out, but it's not official. So, this concept of going somewhere to give your time freely (when they live so poorly already) isn't really fleshed out just yet, and sadly not all employers will really give a damn whether you did any community service or not... so we'll see if they go for it.
That's all my short-term work plans for now... like I said, the rest of my life is pretty tame.... day in/day out. Have to run now though, treating myself to a movie, something we don't get to do very often, but Sex and the City isn't often playing either! So, much love to all!!
BESOS!!! (Go look that one up!)
Chau-chau,
Lauren
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